I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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