I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
