All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
