how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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