Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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