The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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