thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
