Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
