she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Randomize
