Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
