I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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