I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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