help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
