Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
