Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
