Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
