Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
