but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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