Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
