they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
not ubering you a puppy
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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