you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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