I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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