I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We just shotgunned beers for America
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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