I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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