So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
