Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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