nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
high people should be assigned attendants
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
