I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
