As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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