shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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