Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
