i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
