I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
