I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
