you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
