Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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