Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
