he shaved USA in his pubs
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
