What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
