I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
