The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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