its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
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