I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize