where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
