People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
