The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
