Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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