new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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