grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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