this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
