I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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