Sry I called you an 8
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
